I don’t think she meant the box to be so important, but in the end it was. It was the little red box that my husband’s grandmother left behind when she died. 

Grandma Pearl’s life was long. She ended it near her family, without much to be distributed. In fact, everything she did need to distribute was in the little red box.

In the end, Pearl was very sick. She forgot all her great stories, and who we were, but she remembered the little red box. She would mention it, refer to it, “it’s in there, it’s got everything you need.” I couldn’t imagine what we’d find, if anything. So many of her stories were now ended when she dosed off. My mother-in-law had sold her condo, her car. What could possibly be in the box?

When Pearl died, the red box had everything her daughter needed. It had the papers for the cemetery, her will, the jewelry she was saving for her grandsons. No, it wasn’t a lot of stuff, but it was perfect: no one had to hunt for a receipt, no one had to guess which bank had her safe deposit box, or where the key was, no one had to guess who got what.

Having the red box made her feel like her mom was still taking care of her, something she hadn’t been able to do, not really, for a very long time.

There wasn’t much to distribute, but the family was blessed with the knowledge that Pearl was behind the decisions, and that we were doing what she wanted.

At the Jewish Community Foundation of Greater MetroWest NJ (JCF), we’re accustomed to bringing family members together to talk about legacies, including wills and estate plans. We work with donors to make the world better, make it a little easier for people, a little brighter for the future. Just as JCF holds endowments to secure the future of Federation, makes grants to improve lives in our regions, Israel, and around the world, so too are we here to help people plan the legacies they want to leave behind.

How does this relate to the red box? It was Pearl’s estate plan. Pearl saved her family from the frustrations of not knowing. Everyone had a little more space to grieve, because the details were taken care of, the energies didn’t need to be spent wondering, “what would she want,” or “are we doing the right thing?” The family was blessed with the knowledge that Pearl was behind these plans.

Remember, estate plans can include provisions for the care of a child with special needs, elderly parent, or beloved pet. But if you die without a will (or other estate plan), your assets may be absorbed by probate expenses (the legal fees associated with distributing even modest estates) or given to unintended parties by default.

Talk to your tax or financial advisor about your estate plan. And talk to us about your charitable plans. At JCF, we are accustomed to speaking with donors about all aspects of planning, including estate plans. We welcome the chance to work with your family, regardless of the size or complexity of your estate.

Eileen Heltzer is development officer at the Jewish Community Foundation of Greater MetroWest NJ

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Originally posted November 12, 2013